Can’t Hurt Me is a story of domestic violence, racism, love, determination and self realization. A book worth your time.
The book centres on the family and majorly life of David Goggins. Despite everything he goes through as a child, David doesn’t let that define what he is capable of doing or becoming. He didn’t let what he went through in the hands of his father or people’s opinions about him pull him down.
Step Out Of Your Comfort ZoneWhat the fuck? I mean, seriously, what the fucking fuck? When was enough truly going to be enough? Was I willing to let my sorry present become a fucked-up future? How much longer would I wait, how many more years would I burn, wondering if there was some greater purpose out there waiting for me? I knew right then that if I didn’t make a stand and start walking the path of most resistance, I would end up in this mental hell forever.
“Even the best pep talk or self-help hack is nothing but a temporary fix. It won’t rewire your brain. It won’t amplify your voice or uplift your life. Motivation changes exactly nobody. The bad hand that was my life was mine, and mine alone to fix.” I always tell people that no matter how many self-help books you read but you are not ready to do something about your situation, very little will change. It’s like Faith without Action. When your faith is not accompained by acts, that’s asking too much from God yet you are not bring anything to the table.
“My mother’s relief was short-lived. When the cops arrived, Trunnis met them at the door. They looked over his shoulder toward my mom, who stood several paces behind him, her face swollen and caked with dried blood. But those were different days. There was no #metoo back then. That shit didn’t exist, and they ignored her. Trunnis told them it was all a whole lot of nothing. Just some necessary domestic discipline.”
This reminds me of the many women who die as a result of domestic violence. But due to the fact that their abusers are influential men in society, those cases die on the “hill of we are still investigating”. In as much as Jackie (David’s mother) had a chance to report the abuse, the police wasn’t of any help.
Goggins story is a clear example that what you have been through in life doesn’t define who you really are and can do!
To divert a little, yesterday I was watching a #BBNaija presentation on #GBV with the theme #NoMeansNo. According to their script, there’s a gentleman who grows up in a family where his father is a supposed cheat, barely has money to support the family and a mother who is violent.
As a result of that (disoriented family), this gentleman turns out as a rapist. Huh, I actually didn’t buy this story! Yes, charity begins at home but also yes, like David says, “If you choose to see yourself as a victim of circumstance into adulthood, that callous will become resentment that protects you from the unfamiliar. It will make you too cautious and untrusting, and possibly too angry at the world. It will make you fearful of change and hard to reach, but not hard of mind.”
In this life there are countless trails to self-realization, though most demand intense discipline, so very few take them. In southern Africa, the San people dance for thirty hours straight as a way to commune with the divine. In Tibet, pilgrims rise, kneel, then stretch out face down on the ground before rising again, in a ritual of prostration for weeks and months, as they cover thousands of miles before arriving at a sacred temple and folding into deep meditation. In Japan there’s a sect of Zen monks that run 1,000 marathons in 1,000 days in a quest to find enlightenment through pain and suffering. I don’t know if you could call what I felt on that bed “enlightenment,” but I do know that pain unlocks a secret doorway in the mind. One that leads to both peak performance and beautiful silence.
If you’re looking for a really good read, get you this book. You won’t regret it!